I have been thinking a lot about Margot’s time in prison these past few days. I have been wanting to explore more of what that felt like, but I wanted to do it in a healthy way, because obviously…that’s a lot! I have been doing some sense memory-esc exercises to try and understand what those moments felt like for Margot.
Specifically, I have been thinking about what the prison looked like, how the people involved in her trial looked at her (their eyes), the moistness in the cell walls, the light streaming through her barred window, and other sense memories. I have found these images, textures, and sounds to be extremely important for the final scene as they inform so much about what Margot thinks and feels especially when it comes to the people around her!
The other characters are hatching these intricate and frightening plots around her and it makes absolutely zero sense to her for at least part of the scene. Questions arise like, Tony should be helping her, he shouldn’t just stand there? His job is to protect her and he’s not doing it? She’s confused and suspicious as to why.
The inspector and Maxine confuse her, because they knew that she was innocent and she was still sitting there, in prison, waiting to die. I questioned today, do they not care? I think it is interesting to examine what Margot wants here. She is tired, scared, lost, and confused. She wants them to understand her and believe her side of the story. She wants the inspector to weave this web the right way. She’ll know it’s all okay when she is safe and free. She wants Maxine to comfort her, and to help her feel safe. None of these things are happening and they want her to feel better? It does not make any sense.
3 questions that emerged in today’s rehearsal were…
- Who do I think Tony is? And when do I realize what he’s become (specifically in the last scene)? I think that this question is really interesting because we see these moments of violence in him that he has been trying to hide from Margot since the beginning of the play. He is such a terrifying human being and he hides it so mischievously. It’s terrible. And it’s haunting that Margot has been living with him, loving him, and trusting him. The moment when she realizes that he is evil, has to be fully recognised from an acting perspective. And I’m very curious to see exactly where that moment is going to land for the audience.
- When are the moments in the script for me to make “unwritten noise”? I love the idea of being super loud during this play. I think there are a lot of gasps and sighs and screams going on that will make the vocal life of this play insane to listen to. One of my best friends will be in the audience and she is almost completely deaf, only one of her ears has around 40% availability to her. My goal is that Cole will be able to hear me making noise. If she can hear me then the folks in row P can hear me. BE NOISY!
- When EXACTLY in the final scene do I make the decision to trust Maxine? This needs to be hyper specific. Today in rehearsal it felt kind of flip floppy…? I, as an actor, wasn’t making a clear enough choice. I want to explore what it’s like for that decision to be concrete and finite and MASSIVE. WORLD STOPPING. CRAZY. She has betrayed me over and over in my head. I haven’t been able to really trust her since I got the letters, but I love her. And I know that she’s my person and that the right thing in my life is to trust her. I’ve already lost everything that I cared about, my image, my husband, my life, my place in the world. She’s all that I have really and I don’t want that to be the reason I reach for her. I just think that it’s sweet that without those things she still loves me and cares for me. I thought the superficial things mattered so much to Margot, and they do. Max matters more.