I don’t want to be pretty, I want to be awesome. Everyone keeps coming up to me in rehearsal and telling me how beautiful I look. I really appreciate that compliment. Margot is beautiful. She wants to present herself that way. She wants people to look up to her as a high standing member of society. She is important and to be an important woman at this time you had to be beautiful. But me, as Emmy the actor, I don’t want to be beautiful. I don’t want the audience to say, oh that actress was really gorgeous in that nightgown. I want the audience to feel something. I want them to have questions. Why did that character react that way? What is this story saying? My business as an actor is taking each moment for what it’s worth. Each thought has purpose, meaning, and play. If I’m intentional in my acting choices I hope that it comes through to the audience, as opposed to just “being pretty.”
Marc and I had a conversation today about how I am the lead of this show. It is my job to care for Margot enough that it shows in every single scene. She is bursting with energy. It streams out of her like a broken dam. I hope that this is starting to translate. Marc is saying that it is, that we’re getting there. I’m learning to let it out as fully as I can. I hope I’m doing enough. Today, as we ran through all of act two, I felt a little out of body. Act two is just hard for me. I am the only one that can fight for Margot though, and I have to fight for her. I can do it. Start growling and howling and releasing your soul Emmy. please.