Oh my goodness, it’s opening night! I got so incredibly nervous. Singing is the thing that always calms me down when I’m in a show. As soon as the music starts I immediately relax. But in this, obviously that wasn’t going to happen! So it was completely up to me to get myself into the zone and relax into the work fully and with my whole heart! The lights came up and I put my energy on Maxine. Rob and Emmy disappeared and what an amazing feeling that was! I can do the thing! How cool is that?
Today I feel that my vocals and consonants improved but only by a little bit. I want to be more intentional about making it great! I can go farther and I know it will make me feel crazy. I have to commit to that. Marc and I also spoke yesterday about just relaxing into my work and not being so nervous about it. He knows I can do it and I know that I can do it! I’ve got this. Tonight, I tried my best to remember that as best as I could.
I completely messed up my big monologue tonight! I was not proud of that moment in the show. My brain got nervous and scrambled and I couldn’t focus on Tony/Ben for some reason. I lost sight of my circles of attention and couldn’t find my way back for quite a few moments. By the end of the show my energy recovered but I want to be more intentional about my circles and really hone my skills in that department! Tomorrow will be better! I can do it. I’ll make sure to spend extra time with that section of the play prior to our call time. I know the monologue, it’s just a nerves thing. But I want each audience to receive the same level of skilled performance. I will do better!